Family

Family is so important. Though there may be distance, or disagreements or just plain old differences of opinion, family is there. They are there to cheer for you, to console you, to back you up. I can never understand when I hear about people who don't speak to a sibling for years at a time. Or when they've had a falling out and don't want to make up, that drives me nuts.

I had an argument with my sister a few years ago. We didn't speak for like a year and a half. It made me crazy. I thought about our argument every day. We both are so damn stubborn that neither of us would make up, but I know that it bothered her as much as it did me. Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore. I called, apologized for my part in the argument and we made nice. We've always had differences of opinion, she and I. She's more of a black and white kind of person and I'm more of a shades of grey. We agree to disagree more often then not, but we still love each other and she has always been my biggest fan. But I guess that's what you have to do with family. You have accept each other's ways rather then try to push them to change or to agree with you.


There are things about family members we may not like. Maybe it's their political viewpoints, their lack of communication skills, their quick temper - whatever. But they are the hand you are dealt. And I'm sure if you think about your family they have far more good points then bad, for what they may lack in communication skills, they may more then make up for with understanding and patience.


I know there are some people in the world that will just rub you the wrong way, that get under your skin like a chigger and drive you nuts for a while. But on the other hand, there are those who are able to comfort you on your darkest days, be your champion for success and will always care that you are ok, and those people are family. So I say we have to cut each other some slack.

And know that deep down these people care for you no matter what. If push came to shove they would be there for you as best they could. So don't get too hung up on the specifics - "he said, she said...they did this, they never do that..." dig deeper, get to the heart of things - for the majority of us love our family's deep down, despite our faults, despite theirs, we were thrust together in this universe for a reason. It's up to us to figure out that reason and work with it.

Natural Health

I'm into natural health. Well about 80% anyway. When I was 36 I had a whole host of health issues. Nothing horrible, but annoying aches and pains, indigestion, headaches, neck, jaw and knee pain, major PMS. So I went to my Doc and she prescribed a bunch of pills to fix me up. I got like 6 prescriptions for drugs. But that wasn't the answer I wanted. I didn't want to be hooked on drugs the rest of my life. I wanted to know why I was having these issues, I was young, in the prime of my life, I shouldn't feel this old - this young. There had to be a better answer.

Then, I got a referral from a friend to a Kinesiologist. A brilliant young man, thinking way ahead of modern times, enlightened me to natural health. I learned more about my body in my first visit with him then I had learned in my entire life of Doctor visits.

Now I'm not going to lie to you, you really have to keep an open mind. Kinesiology is about the mind-body connection. It has four main components: emotional, energy, skeletal and muscular. All four need to work together for optimal health. This "Doc Wonder" could tell with muscle strength testing what things I had sensitivities to (be it petroleum, dairy or aspartame) for where my body was weak, it told me what organs were ailing; it was nothing short of amazing.

I made a conscious decision to trust in what he had to say, even when it seemed a bit far-fetched. I did what he told me to do. And you know what? Within 4 months all those aches, the acid reflux, the PMS, it was all gone. He adjusted my body, de-toxified me, gave me vitamins and tinctures of positive energy – he taught me about nutrition and what the chemicals and pesticides in our food supply and cosmetics were doing to me. It made perfect sense really. I whole-heartedly jumped on the natural-health bandwagon. I read everything I got my hands on. I've even taken nutrition classes where I knew more then the instructor teaching it.

It's not easy, cheap, or convenient to be healthy. It's quite the opposite. Our food supply, although abundant, is quite poor nutritionally. Our cosmetics give off by-products that can disrupt our hormones. And practically every product, food, beverage and medication does it's part in toxifying our bodies. And the good stuff – the natural stuff, is expensive. It's quite scary and overwhelming when you find out the real truth.

But…I had made the choice to do this for my future self. I had to get to the source of what ailed me and make the necessary changes for good health. Ironically, I thought I was being pretty healthy. I ate a fair amount of fruits and veggies, I wasn't a junk-food –junkie, I got a good amount of exercise, but I had issues despite my good efforts. So I started slow. I cleaned out my cupboards and fridge trying to eliminate anything with chemicals and additives. I gave up regular dairy products; I started buying organic as much as I could. I shopped at Farmer's Markets, Co-ops and Natural Food stores. I took pharmaceutical quality vitamins. I began yoga and meditation.

I learned to eat fresh, natural meals and snacks---well, for the most part anyway. I mean it's hard. You can't really find a grilled piece of organic chicken and some vegetables in a convenience store when you are on the go. So I tried to make better choices. "Hold the burger and fries, I'll take that grilled chicken salad, dressing on the side. Why, no thank you to that cheesecake, I'll just have some fruit tonight". I really annoy my husband, family and friends with my health talk I'm sure, especially when I tell them just how bad those French fries are for them. But, I do pretty well I guess, I try to be strong. I'd say I'm about 80% there. However, I do have to admit that there are some days when there is just no substitution for a Cookie Dough Blizzard.

But I try, I really do try….

Spring in the Garden

I love spring in the garden. I love the smell of spring. The warmth you finally feel again after the long winter. My garden soothes my soul. I live in the suburbs, but I feel like I live in the country. We have a little piece of the world we call our own. The best thing about it… is the pond. A lot of people might think a pond is nothing more then a mosquito hatchery, but it's oh so much more.

My pond gives me distance from my neighbors. My back yard is open, but my view is sublime. We've planted enough trees to block out the neighbors on the sides, so when we are back there we feel like we are in a world all our own. My hubby and I have worked hard in our yard to create a place of peace. Now I don't think that was the goal, "honey, lets create a place of peace…" but that's what it has become. The coolest part is the wildlife that visits. I have tweeters, quackers, critters, croakers, and noisy little bugs I can't see or name. And I love them all. Ok, I lied. I don't like spiders. Actually I really don't like any bugs, well lady bugs are ok, but I admit when I come across one of them, I tend to scream. But nevertheless I can't imagine living without the sounds of the pond.

I get so excited in April, when the weather finally warms, the snow melts off and I can see the beginnings of life start to emerge. I come home from work excited to see what has popped up from day to day. And it just shocks me how fast things grow. I swear my lilies were just popping a few short weeks ago and suddenly they are a foot tall. Amazing. I sometimes think if I can just slow down enough, I might actually be able to see them grow.

It is a lot of work, the older I get the more work it seems to be, but what gratifying work it is. I can spend hours in the back yard. I like to get out there real early, when no one else is up making neighbor noise and just listen to the birds sing to me. As I work the soil I just zone out. Suddenly I have no more noise in my head. No constantly spinning To Do list, no thoughts about projects at work, no financial worries, no stress. I'm in the moment just playing in the dirt, and my only thoughts are what the flowers will look like when they bloom. I sit and stare and visualize how they will look, how big they will be, do the colors coordinate. I have a mental photograph in my head of what the garden would look like if it were all in bloom at once. And I gotta tell ya, it's Spectacular.

A Chance for Change

Like most of you I started working when I was 15. Just a waitress at the local restaurant
working for minimum wage and tips; oh it was a fun job all right, don't get me wrong. I worked with some friends from school, and had a lot of fun during my time there. And from there I went to college, no I didn't take much time off from work then. I wanted to work through school, after all a girl needs some spending money. And the day I graduated I went to the placement office and answered the first ad I read, I got the job. I proceeded to work another 10 years there without a break. I didn't have kids so I didn't even get a "break" from work with a maternity leave. When I left that job I went to another, spent another decade there. And now during this horrible recession, my hours are being reduced at work. Hey, I know I'm lucky so far, at least I've still got a job. But still I'm a bit scared.

For the first time in 25 years I have to sit down and look at my life. Look at my desires, create a resume'. Yikes. So that's what I've done. And you know what? What I've realized now and maybe even for the last 20 years is that I don't really love what I do for a living. Ok, so maybe not everyone does. Maybe I'm deluded into thinking that we should be able to do for a living what makes us happy. As my brother always says (and I'm sure somebody quotable before him) "If you do what you love you will never work another day in your life". What a concept. Do what you love. How simple.
Great, but what if you didn't figure that out until you were 40. What then? Can you really go back to school at 40, do you have the time, the money, the desire to retrain? I'm not sure that I do. What if at 40 you realized you were destined to be an Interior Designer. Sure 25 years ago when I showed an interest in it who would have ever thought Interior Design would be what it is today. What with HGTV and the DIY network all the rage. I could have been screaming into a megaphone too. No, my Mom said, "honey, you got to be able to make a living, take business classes, learn to type, that will always keep you employed". Not bad advise, I love my Mom and she was only looking out for me. But oh, had I known then, what I know now…I so would have followed my dreams.

OK, so maybe I have to settle for being my own decorator, knowing that I have talent in color and style selections is my own little fantasy. Maybe I'll never be famous or employed doing that for a living. Ok, I can probably live with that. I'll just redecorate my house a lot, give friends advise if they want it, settle for decorating the office. And have the satisfaction knowing that when people come to visit my home they will say, "hey your house looks nice."

But what else, there has to be something else. The sum of my adult working life just can't be mediocre can it? Did I just skate through the last 20 years of my life settling for a job without passion? Yes…no…well maybe.

These shorter hours at work have forced me to sit down and think about some things. Stuff I probably buried way back in my head and didn't think about when I was working 60 hour weeks early in my career, or when I was falling in love with my husband or even when we set down roots in our first home. These are the things I now have time to ponder. What do I like, what am I good at, how can I make that into a career?

And you know what? I've decided this is a good thing. I'm turning my upset about my hours being cut into an opportunity for change. I'm not saying it's not going to be a struggle. Losing several hundred dollars a month income is going to be painful, I may need to find part-time work, if I can. But it's giving me a chance to say, "hey, here's your chance for change". Here's my chance to learn to live on less. Here's my chance to look at my likes and my dislikes and maybe turn that into a new career. Maybe I can't be an interior designer, but maybe I can break into real estate. I love homes. I have good business skills. I'm good with people. I know how to sell. I could definitely stage other people's homes. Now is the time, right? Housing prices have dropped into reasonable ranges, the interest rate is as low as it's been in 40 years. It's a buyer's market. The market has to recover at some point. Maybe with the right training and someone who's willing to give a 40 year old a chance at change I could actually do something I love. Maybe then in 25 years I can look back and say a definite "YES, I loved what I did for a living, I wouldn't change a thing."

This is Life

I've long awaited a place that I could speak from the heart. Where I could speak what's on my mind, those private thoughts that I don't typically share with others. I'm hoping this will be it. I want my blogs to be about anything, anything current, anything spiritual, anything creative, challenging or hopeful.

I've always kept a journal, even way back when I was 8 or 9, I still have that Betsy Clark journal. I have all my journals. They tell a story of my life. I guess I feel the notion to write when life has me down. My Mom used to say, "maybe you can't tell the other person how you feel, but you can write it out", and I did. I wrote out my anger at times, my personal fears, my longing for success, my struggles, my hopes and desires. When I was really upset, I'd sit down and write, by the time I came to the end of the page, I felt better. Maybe nothing was resolved, but some how it resolved itself in my mind. No one has ever read my journals, they are very private thoughts, but maybe it's time for that to change.