I went for coffee today. The young man at the register called me "Miss" wow, seems like a long time since I was a "Miss". I kind of wanted to give him a hug for that. The last 20 years just whizzed right by. Why is it that the older you get the faster time seems to fly?
I remember as a kid the years seemed endless. It took forever to get to high school. Seemed like an eternity before I graduated. Even my early 20's went pretty slow. But now, wow, OMG I'm 43 and can't figure out where the last 20 years went. Then this morning I found a substantial wrinkle. When the hell did that get there? Now that's depressing.
But I don't feel that old. My body feels older yes, but my mind doesn't. The good old days seem like they were yesterday. When I get together with my girlfriends it's like we are back in high school again just as giggly and silly as ever. I used to be the young one at my job, now I'm the one with all the experience.
But I still feel young and fun and hopeful inside.
I am so much wiser then I used to be too, I have so many more things figured out. I wish I could go back and tell my young self all the things I've learned, warn myself of all the mistakes I made so that I can do it right.
I wish I could have warned myself about credit cards and yo-yo dieting. I wish I would have exercised more. I wish I would have saved money regularly. I wish I could have stopped myself from succumbing to peer pressure and not have partied as much. I wish I would have followed my heart and gone to art school or design school instead of business school. I wish I would have taken more chances and had a little more idea of who I wanted to be when I grew up.
Too bad we often don't figure that out until later on.
But I'm really glad for who I am, I think I turned out pretty good all in all. I think I did a lot of things right. Like being a good daughter and friend. Like marrying the right guy and being a good Step Mom. Like having strong work ethics and a great sense of responsibility. Like being creative and seeing the possibilities in life. The years have been pretty good really.
Maybe in 20 more years I'll look back and realize that it all happened for a reason. That every little second of my existence was meant to bring me to some great conclusion about life. Maybe I'll have figured out my purpose on this earth. Maybe the next twenty years will be better, more memorable and more exciting then these. Hopefully they will have come up with better wrinkle cream by then.
One can only hope.
