I spent yesterday afternoon in the ER. I'd been having heart palpitations for about 5 days.
I wasn't overly worried at first, but it was something I never experienced before. Yesterday they were coming every couple of minutes. The faster they came, the more I panicked. Since heart problems run in my family on both my parents side, and I could stand to lose a few pounds, I started to worry. Anyone I mentioned it to said, "get checked out, you don't want to mess around with your heart". The last straw was my Doctor's office refusing to even let me speak to my Doc about it. All they said was, "get to the ER, now!"
Oh Crap, now I'm scared. I drove myself to the closest ER in the city. Too urban for me, no place to park, suspect looking people lurking about. I started to cry. I called my hubby. "What do I do? I don't want to be here." I went to the closest suburban hospital instead. I felt much more at ease in my old stomping grounds.
There was no one in the waiting room, Thank God. I was really afraid I'd have a bunch of H1N1 sickies sitting there snogging all over everything. The front desk gal called me "hon". "Whatcha here for today hon?" Like I was ordering soup or something. "Chest Pains". "And who brought you in?" "Me." She got me a wheelchair and with the biggest smile on her face she could muster said, "how old are ya hon?" "43." She laughed, "it all goes down hill from there..."
Great. That's just great. I thought I was doing pretty good. I'm a pretty healthy eater. I take my vitamins, I do yoga and meditate. I'm somewhat active, a jock I aint, but I get around. And now I find out that despite all my effort, resistance is futile. I'm going down with the rest of them anyway... Crap.
So I got all these tests done, they had me all wired up. Took my blood, stabbed me a few times to find a good vein, that's always fun. My hubby could see the palpitations on the monitor as they happened. He kept making silly jokes and naughty innuendo's to see if he could get the lines to dip - he needed something to do to pass the time.
They came in no less then 5 times to ask me my name and to verify my information. Did they think that I was going to keep switching rooms or something? I was connected to the bed with 50 wires, just where exactly was I going to go? I couldn't leave to go potty without getting the nurses permission.
So what did I find out? I'm fine. Apparently I have an irregular heart beat that is fairly common. For some unknown reason it decided to manifest itself this week an make itself known. They said it was probably stress related. Ironically in the last few weeks my stress level has dropped about 50%. I got some of my pay and hours back at work. The ridiculously busy summer I had at work has slowed to a workable pace. My writing submissions have been met with a good response. I have been more calm this week then I have for the last 6 months.
I thought I was on an upswing.
Of course now I have something new to stress about. I figure my little ER visit is going to cost me about 3Grand. And, I have a $5,000 deductible, so none of it will be covered. I swear sometimes my life consists of one step forward and two steps back. And now there is the whole "going downhill" thing I have to worry about.
A few summers ago we went up to Duluth for the weekend. We brought our bikes and thought we were taking the leisurely trail along the lake. It ended up being 2 miles straight uphill. We pushed our bikes most of the way, ever try to ride a recumbent up a hill?, it doesn't work. But when we got to the top, the view was great. Without hesitation I hopped on my bike, turned and gave a wink and a smile to my hubby and took off down hill. I yelled "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" all the way down. Best two minutes of my life. No cares, no worries, just the wind in my hair and a smile on my face.
If we have to "go downhill" as we age, don't you think it should be like that?
No cares.
No worries.
Just the wind in your hair and a smile on your face.
