What's Important

My little trip to the ER last week really made an impact on me. It's been kind of nice in a way. Everyone is very concerned about me. I've gotten a lot of nice Facebook notes and phone calls. My husband has been very attentive and lovey since then. While that is not unusual for us, we are always romantic together, I think I really scared him. The truth is, I scared me too.

But it did give me a sense of clarity. It made me see that anything can happen at any time. That each day needs to be lived to it's fullest. That we take for granted so many things that are little blessings each day. That our health is nothing to mess with and that I'm not as healthy as I profess to be. And mostly, that I need to get off my butt and really do something about my weight.

I have never really liked to exercise. And I am usually more then willing to put it off for a better offer. Although to my defense, I have made quite a commitment to yoga the last two years. It's probably the first thing that I've really stayed consistent with for any length of time. But I know I need to do more, and more importantly, do more every day.

More and more I'm realizing that having a desk job is sort of like living a slow death. Ok, that's a little dramatic, but really when you think about it a desk job is probably one of the worst things you can do for your health. You stare at a box all day, you don't get any fresh air, you barely move. You get neck, wrist and elbow pain even though the most exercise you get is going for a potty break. I wore a pedometer to work for awhile. On a good day I got in a couple thousand steps. On a bad day, barely 900. They say we need 10,000 steps a day. That's about 5 miles by my calculations. Even a trip to Target only gives me about 2,500 steps. So I'm coming up extremely short.

People who are on their feet all day might do that many. But people with desk jobs...not so much. Perhaps if I worked in a large corporate environment I could take walk breaks. I would have to park far away. I could roam the halls to meet with co-workers. But my longest jaunt anywhere in my building is about 35 steps. I try to park a block or two away. I try to get out over lunch and take a walk around the block. But more often then not I'm pressed for time and never do.

I'm not a lazy person by any means, but I just can't seem to stay motivated with an intense exercise program. Part of it is that I really never see any results. I joined a gym a couple years ago. For 6 months I went to the gym 3-4 days a week. I worked with trainers. I saw the nutritionist. I did 45-60 minutes on the treadmill each time along with hundreds of reps on the machines. I did exactly what they told me to do. After 6 months I had lost 4 pounds, no inches. Four - stinking - pounds. Big deal. I can gain and lose that on a weekly basis.

So I quit the gym. I've done lots of stints like that. I did Curves for several years, I've done lots of aerobics classes. My hubby and I walk, and bike and golf together. We spend a lot of time in the garden and on landscaping projects... and still I struggle. At home programs don't seem to work for me, it's like I need the pressure of having to go somewhere, having to pay for it and feel guilty if I blow it off. But in this tight economy, I can't really afford to pay a membership fee either.

But, like I said, I got scared. So Saturday morning I spent some time on the bike and health rider in my basement. I went and bought a kettleball. Sunday morning my hubby and I went for an hour long walk. Later on I did some reps with the new kettleball. I didn't let the palpitations knock me down. Oh I still have them, but they are fading. But my will now seems strong.

The really weird thing is that my cravings for sugar have completely stopped. All summer long, the more stressed I got, the more my sweet tooth screamed at me. Chocolate was my vice of choice. But last week, the cravings stopped. Maybe my heart was screaming louder, I'm not sure. But whatever the reason I have this new found diligence. I'm going to run with it.

Life's too important. My husband, my family, my friends... They mean more to me then my ambivalence toward exercise or my love for chocolate. So here I go again, off on another quest...but this time, this time my heart is in it too.

Yoga Has Changed My Life.

Yoga has changed my life. I know it sounds a bit corny to say, but it's true.

I started yoga a little over a year ago. My instructor is a sweet, older, kind of hippie-like lady that teaches MIND/BODY YOGA. She stresses the importance of meditation, and breathing along with the stretching and toning benefits of yoga. She begins with, "Our practice is not a competition with anyone else or even with ourselves". "It is meant to be it's own journey". Now, I've always been a self-conscious person. I don't want people looking at me when I'm playing golf and I really don't want them looking at me in my funky little stretch pants bending over into unsightly positions. But the beauty in yoga is that you are never looking at anyone else. In fact most of the time I sort of forget that anyone else is even in the room. You look ahead or up toward the sky. I like that concept. It frees you from being self-conscious and allows you to be fully aware of the movement. Most of the time I just shut my eyes and just feel the stretch and concentrate on my breath going in and out of my body. It is a very relaxing workout.

And I do mean work out. Yoga is not for sissy's let me tell you. Holding your body in these awkward positions is a challenge. And it's all about balance. Every move has a counter move, what you do on the right, you do on the left. No one wants a lop-sided body. My first session I couldn't believe how much I was sweating. OK, so I'm out of shape and somewhat hormonal, so it doesn't take a great amount to make me sweat these days, but I do , and in such a good way. At the end of my first session I got very light-headed. So much so that I had to sit in my car for 10 minutes before I could drive. My instructor said I had more then likely breathed more deeply in that hour then I probably had in years. Oxygen, what a concept.

And yoga really helps with stress. Almost instantly I felt more calm. When I started there was a lot of turmoil within my immediate family and it helped me to think of things in a calm manner. "Peaceful thoughts, peaceful words, peaceful heart” is how we always close our sessions. I started to apply these thoughts to my daily life. Ultimately my conflicts were resolved, and I believe they were because I began to change, not just my attitude, but also the way in which I responded to the conflict.

Physically I began to feel stronger, taller, if that’s possible, and more flexible. I had a lot of chronic low back pain and neck and jaw pain. My back pain stems from a car accident several years ago, along with a desk job and my passion for gardening. My neck pain, which I call computer-neck, also comes from working at a desk all day; and the TMJ, mostly from stress.

When I started Yoga in March ’08 the first real change I noticed was in the garden that spring. I wasn’t sore after a good days work. I was bending better and my stamina was improved. In fact, gardening is an excellent place to practice yoga. There is this move called "Spinal Balance" where basically you are on all fours, and you stretch your left arm in front of you and your right leg back. And as I was gardening this year I realized, "hey I'm doing spinal balance." Wasn't even trying to. I was just reaching and digging with one hand, balancing with the other and stuck my leg out so I didn't tip over as I was reaching. Well, go figure. And when I bend over at the waist, I'm doing Forward Fold, when I have to straddle plants as not to step on them while weeding, I'm doing Forward Straddle. It's really kind of cool how it interacts with your daily life. There are many times throughout my day I realize hey that's a yoga stretch and I never really knew it.


Normally I see a chiropractor for adjustments once every two to three weeks; I've had to for my neck and jaw, they were so tight. I have not had to visit my Doc in almost a year. My TMJ has relaxed so much so that I don’t find it necessary to wear a night mouth guard anymore. And my neck, although stiff at times, is much improved and any soreness can be relieved by a simple neck massage at home, rather then a visit to my Doc.

I've even got my husband to try a few of the stretches. If anyone needs to stretch it's him, he's got no flexibility. When he does it regularly it really helps his back. And we try to practice deep breathing before bed; it really helps your body drift slowly off to sleep.

These days I practice in class twice a week and at home most days. I also try to incorporate some simple positions into my work day too. This has been the only type of exercise that I actually look forward to, do not allow anyone to come between, and that I’ve been able to consistently stick with. I do believe that yoga will be a part of my life for the rest of my life.