My Dad and I weren't always close. We were when I was little though. I have fond memories of climbing into his lap every night, him telling me stories and doing magic. He used to make up stories about mystical fairies and diamonds in the sky and would tell it with such enthusiasm and character. When his big strong arms were wrapped around me, I felt so safe, so loved.
Now the adolescent years, were not nearly as much fun. My Dad was pretty old fashioned, a 20 year military man. So there wasn't a whole lot I could get away with. We had our challenges that's for sure. We definitely didn't see eye to eye. We had communication issues that pretty much lasted until I went off to school and moved out of the house. I didn't "get" him and he certainly didn't "get" me.
But over the years, he sort of mellowed out and I guess in some respect so did I. As adults I think we tend to look back at our childhood and think of it as either being successful and happy or not so great. I guess I was sort of somewhere in the middle. There were plenty of good memories, but some not so good ones too. I had friends who were pretty close to their Dad's. They could talk to them about anything, but not my Dad. He was pretty rigid when it came to some things, he wasn't very open, and there became this increasing communication gap between us. Really, it wasn't his fault, and it really wasn't mine either for that matter. It just was what it was. But one thing I know for sure, my Dad always loved me; even if he didn't always know how I needed him to show it.
As I grew up I realized I needed to cut my Dad some slack and forgive him for the times I felt wronged and understand that Dad's are people too. He didn't have a perfect childhood either, his Dad wasn't a loving and caring person. Maybe in those days the caring was left to the women. Maybe it just takes growing up and becoming a parent yourself before you really realize what your parents sacrifice for you. Whether it is giving up on a dream, a gadget that they want, a vacation...they make sacrifices so we can have and do things. I doubt to this day though that he would ever admit that. Maybe my Dad didn't always do or say the right things, but I know that deep down he always had the best of intentions.
So I made a conscious choice to move forward. To have more then just superficial conversations with him. Oh, he still asks me things like: "hows your car running, have you changed the oil lately, do you need any money?" But now we also talk about things like life, political viewpoints, and love. Sometimes I have to be the one to keep the conversation going, and you know what, that is ok. He's kind of set in his ways; but I am capable of change.
So today Daddy, this is my day to tell you I love you. To thank you for all that you have done. For making me smile and laugh as a child, for protecting me as an adolescent and for supporting my dreams, my hopes, and my choices in life. For many years I thought you didn't share your life with me, but I now know that you did much more...you gave me a life.
Happy Father's Day Daddy...I love you!
Now the adolescent years, were not nearly as much fun. My Dad was pretty old fashioned, a 20 year military man. So there wasn't a whole lot I could get away with. We had our challenges that's for sure. We definitely didn't see eye to eye. We had communication issues that pretty much lasted until I went off to school and moved out of the house. I didn't "get" him and he certainly didn't "get" me.
But over the years, he sort of mellowed out and I guess in some respect so did I. As adults I think we tend to look back at our childhood and think of it as either being successful and happy or not so great. I guess I was sort of somewhere in the middle. There were plenty of good memories, but some not so good ones too. I had friends who were pretty close to their Dad's. They could talk to them about anything, but not my Dad. He was pretty rigid when it came to some things, he wasn't very open, and there became this increasing communication gap between us. Really, it wasn't his fault, and it really wasn't mine either for that matter. It just was what it was. But one thing I know for sure, my Dad always loved me; even if he didn't always know how I needed him to show it.
As I grew up I realized I needed to cut my Dad some slack and forgive him for the times I felt wronged and understand that Dad's are people too. He didn't have a perfect childhood either, his Dad wasn't a loving and caring person. Maybe in those days the caring was left to the women. Maybe it just takes growing up and becoming a parent yourself before you really realize what your parents sacrifice for you. Whether it is giving up on a dream, a gadget that they want, a vacation...they make sacrifices so we can have and do things. I doubt to this day though that he would ever admit that. Maybe my Dad didn't always do or say the right things, but I know that deep down he always had the best of intentions.
So I made a conscious choice to move forward. To have more then just superficial conversations with him. Oh, he still asks me things like: "hows your car running, have you changed the oil lately, do you need any money?" But now we also talk about things like life, political viewpoints, and love. Sometimes I have to be the one to keep the conversation going, and you know what, that is ok. He's kind of set in his ways; but I am capable of change.
So today Daddy, this is my day to tell you I love you. To thank you for all that you have done. For making me smile and laugh as a child, for protecting me as an adolescent and for supporting my dreams, my hopes, and my choices in life. For many years I thought you didn't share your life with me, but I now know that you did much more...you gave me a life.
Happy Father's Day Daddy...I love you!