Living for the Moment

The older I get, the more I understand life.

I remember in my 20's thinking I had it all figured out. Thinking I was so worldly and wise - I was a mover and shaker after all. I had an exciting career working with important people. I was fairly educated. I was constantly going places and doing things...

Then I fell in love. And everything I thought I knew about men and life changed. I was in love with a man, and for all intensive purposes, men were way different then women.

Not that this is a bad thing. Just that it's different. Men think differently, they react differently, they love differently then women.

Personally I think men have the ability to live more in the moment then women.

A simple example - One morning I suggest to my hubby that we BBQ together that night - he agrees. So I am at work all day, and on the way home I start thinking about dinner, I'm hungry. I start making plans in my head, did I remember to take anything out of the freezer, how long it's going to take to cook, do I have all the ingredients on hand, maybe I should stop at the store, what would hubby like...I get home. Hubby ate about and hour ago, he was hungry. Funny thing was, I didn't feel like cooking anyway.

He lives in the moment. If he's hungry he eats. He's tired, he sleeps. He doesn't really think too far ahead of that. Don't get me wrong, of course he thinks about his future. But as a sleep deprived over-worked guy he pretty much just focuses on the here and now. I, on the other hand, am perpetually in fast forward mode. I plan ahead for the next hour, the next day, the next weekend, the next year. Hubby has no specific plans for what tomorrow will bring, he goes with the flow. I have a constantly spinning "To Do" list in my head a mile long.

Oh, to only worry about the moment at hand. To never have to plan or prepare... to just "be". Maybe that's why men and women, though so different, work together. One needs to stay grounded in the moment, one needs to look ahead.

Then again, maybe it's just us.

The Health Revolution

I am loving this Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution! I think it's fantastic. This country has been so deluded into thinking our food supply is healthy, that it's scary. If you think anyone is making sure that what is on the shelves is healthy, think again. This guy is going to make an impact, I hope, on the world.

I embraced this way of eating years ago. At 35 years old I was having chronic headaches (6 times a week), heartburn, I couldn't sleep, I had neck pain, TMJ, knee pain and weight gain. I went to my Doc. She prescribed me pills.

Nothing says American Medical Care like a fist full of pills.

I was given prescriptions for huge amounts of Ibuprofen for the knee pain. Prilosec for heartburn, a migraine medication for the headaches. She offered me an anti-depressant, and some weight loss pill that had some very nasty side effects.

Something in me just snapped. "Enough is enough already, I want to be healed I don't want to be on hundreds of dollars of pills every month for the rest of my life!" I walked out.

I knew I wasn't going to find the answers there. I knew I had to embrace Alternative care. I began to read every health book I could get my hands on. And then one day heard about Kinesiology. I decided to go for it. And it changed my life.

Doc "Wonder" was amazing. He taught me so much about nutrition and natural medicine, about my body and it's chemistry. He fixed all my ails. All, but my weight issues. What we figured out is that I had sort of a "Perfect Storm" of metabolic chaos and I know exactly when it all went to hell. The day I got my first injection of Depo Provara. I have been in an uphill battle ever since. I have spent thousands of dollars trying to right this hormonal wrong.

I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that we are the only ones responsible for our health.
The Doctors in this country make money by pushing drugs.
The Drug companies make money by keeping us on prescriptions pills for our entire lives.
The Food companies make money buy filling their products with inferior fillers, preservatives, sugars, additives, and addictive ingredients because real food costs money to produce.
The Farmers pump the cattle and chickens and crops full of hormones and pesticides to fatten the animals and eliminate crop loss.
The Diet Pill companies make money by pushing pills to reverse the weight problems from the food our FDA has approved.
And the Politicians that are supposedly there to protect and work for us---don't even get me started.

The only one looking out for you, is you.

Think before you eat. If you can't pronounce it, don't ingest it. If it's created in a lab, do your research before you use it. And for God's sake, get your ass off the couch.

Dare I Say I'm on a Roll?

I'm not a super religious person. I mean I do believe in God, I have faith. I believe in Karma and a little bit in destiny too. I believe that there is an inherent higher power that helps those who help themselves. I believe that people with good hearts who help others are rewarded in some way - whether that is a great after life or just a peaceful existence, I guess that is yet to be determined.

And I also believe that we have been given some talent or skill that sets us apart from others. A skill that we may or may not know we have, but some how in our lifetime seems to recur time and time again.

I believe that I have figured out my special skill, my karmic destiny, my gift from up above...

I...have been given the special job of...(are you ready)...changing the toilet paper roll.

Yes readers, it's true. I have been given the Responsibility of the Roll.

I've been noticing this for quite some time now. I seem to have the timing down perfect, the frequency, the consideration to help others in a time of need. I have been destined to be the Replacer of the Toilet Paper.

I know what you are all thinking, that this is a special job and it should not be taken lightly.. but it's true. I have a purpose in this lifetime, to make sure that people, when they are most vulnerable, are - well - covered.

No matter where I go, whether it's work, home, a friend or family's house, perhaps a restaurant or store...I will be the one to replace the empty roll. My timing is uncanny, I always seem to get there when there are one or two sheets left. I have a knack for locating the extra supplies, and never fear, if you and I should share a public restroom and you run out, I will be there to share my gift with you. No, I will not let you down. I will spare a square or two for you.

I almost feel like I should have a cape, a title, and a tag line....
"CC, the TP Queen" - Never fear...CC's Here

State of the Blog, Part II

Well, awhile ago I posted that changes were coming to my blog. I'm very excited about them. In about a month I hope to launch my new and improved blog. It will encompass so much more. Please follow me when the time comes, I will keep you posted.

I've been taking a writing class and it's been quite freeing when it comes to inspiration. And it's been quite informational when it comes to the technicalities of the blogosphere and getting my blog read.

One of my goals when I initially started my blog was to do some "professional" writing. Blogging was my way of being published, getting some practice and holding myself accountable. But blogging became so much more for me too.

I became so in touch with my feelings, my goals and the passion that lies within. I found myself on a journey of self discovery. My initial posts were written as "columns" that I envisioned printing in some local publication, but the columns became part of me. My challenges, my dreams and aspirations --- and mostly my take on the human condition.

I'd still like to do a column, only reality tells me it'll be more of an on-line thing. I struggle with getting seen...Google-love comes with exposure and to get exposure I have to attack social media with extreme regularity. I'm finding it hard to embrace Twitter. Most really popular blogs get seen because they link to current headlines, videos and pop culture.

I don't want to be that kind of blogger, I want to write. I want to write with soul and purpose. The only question is, does soul and purpose translate into being read?

There's something in me I need to share. Perhaps it's not quite defined yet, perhaps I just haven't found the right home...but I am on the move.

So friends, readers and fellow bloggers, if you like what I have to say, please tell others. Please link me or forward me or recommend me. I need all the help I can get. The one thing that I know I learned about myself this last year is that I can't do it all alone anymore. I need to ask other's for help. I need to seek guidance and education. And probably most importantly, I need to believe in my self, my heart and believe that I will reach my goals.

Health Care Reform is Killing Me

I hate to talk politics. I hate getting those slamming chain emails that bash one side or the other full of bullshit statements that have very little or no validity(those of you who send them, please stop). I hate that as a tax paying American, my voice is not heard at all. I voted to elect people who I think can make a change; and in turn it's just more of the same.

I don't get the whole problem with passing health care reform. OK, I'll be the first to admit I am dense when it comes to politics. I followed the last election, I watched all the debates, I actually liked and voted for my choice. But all I hear is rhetoric. "Political posturing" seems to be the key phrase. Nothing is getting accomplished. Each side is hell-bent on making sure the other side doesn't win. In the end, none of us wins.

Me, as a middle-class person is getting screwed. My health insurance premiums went up AGAIN! UGH. I can't take it anymore. I literally will not be able to afford one more increase. After a year of reduced pay and benefits, the premiums are wiping out my savings. If my deductible increases anymore what will the point be of even having insurance. I may as well take my chances and bank the cash.

For God's sake I have a $5000 deductible. I can't afford to go and get a mammogram, because I can't afford the extra out of pocket expense. God forbid I get bronchitis or have to be hospitalized. This is just ridiculous that I spend over $6000/year and can't even go to the doctor when I need to. Something is wrong with our system, big time!

OK, I don't want the Government running my life either, but nor do I want the Insurance companies to take over my health care. I want a choice if I can go to a Naturalpath or a GP. If I get the flu I want it to be covered under my ridiculous premiums I've already paid. I should get to have some care for all the money I pay out. I want preventative maintenance, like an annual MRI to detect anything brewing within, a Mamogram, PAP/Prostate and Heart and Colon checks.

I figured it out, in the last seven years I have paid out well over $50,000 in premiums/payments. I have been to the Doctor less then 10 times. At $5,000 a visit, I think I am the only one getting screwed, seems like the Docs and Insurance companies are doing just fine.

What do we have to do as citizens to get congress to stop all this bullshit and get some policies passed. Why does every bill have to be so damn detailed that they argue about it for months. Why can't they write and pass simple legislation. Just take one step at a time. First and foremost on the insurance forefront would be to limit premium hikes. To put a cap on what the insurance companies can charge. So now they pass this bill and instead of working with it now all the Republicans have to waste more of our tax payer money to fight the decision. God, when does it ever stop?!

And we, as American citizens are getting screwed. I guess it's just politics as usual, no big change---the rich get richer, the middle class pays for everything and the little guy gets squished.

I'd like to strip the politicians of all their benefits. Take away so much of their income that they have to live like the poor, and middle-income poor that they are creating. I'd like to see them struggle to make ends meet every month. To worry and stress so much about losing their job and not being able to find a new one that they end up in the ER with chest pain. I'd like to see them get screwed time and time again by large corporations who suck the life out of the people they supposedly serve. I'd like to see them go into foreclosure, fight and argue with banks and lose everything they have ever worked for because some arrogant SOB in congress is more worried about their political party winning then actually working for the people who elected them.

I bet things would change then.

Do it for the Chickens

Ok, most of my blogging life has been pretty politically correct. I haven't gone off on any real tangents or complained too much about politics, war, health care or anything else I feel is beyond my control.

But today I would like to discuss the movement of Organic vs. Conventionally produced products. I have become a naturalist, well about 80% natural anyway, and every day I learn more and more about just how bad conventionally produced products are.

Today, my case in point is about eggs. I buy organic eggs because I don't believe that chickens should be fed hormones. I suffer with a major hormonal imbalance and I figure that I just don’t need anything else messing me up. But I guess I really didn't realize the real difference in organic eggs vs. conventional eggs.

Did you know that organic eggs have 22% more Omega 3's in them then conventional eggs? That is a staggering difference. And if that isn't worth the extra $1.50, then read on.

Conventional chickens are kept in tiny cages. Most cages are less then 2 sq ft and they share that cage with up to 9 other chickens. There is not enough room for them to stretch and spread their wings. The cage conditions are dirty, crowded and unhealthy to say the least. Most of them live less then 2 years. They are force-fed hormone-laden corn feed, which by the way, is not what a chicken would actually eat if they had the choice. Their beaks are cut off. They are never allowed to roam freely and hunt and peck as a chicken does, they never see the light of day. Then, when they have served their egg-bearing purpose they are slaughtered and the meat is used to feed us. And that's the meat you get in 80% of the restaurants and grocers in the country. There are dozens of other reasons not to buy conventional chicken and eggs that you can read here, for me, it's too gross to post. http://www.assatashakur.org/forum/afrikan-wholistic-health/14393-chicken-unhealthy-white-meat.html

Organic chickens by contrast, especially free-range chickens, are allowed to roam. They get exercise, fresh air and sunlight. They can eat worms and bugs, seeds and greens – anything their little chicken heart desires. And in being able to live the life of a normal chicken they develop much more Omega 3's, protein, vitamins, enzymes and other nutrients. They develop muscle and strong bones and lead happy little chicken lives.

I admit, over the years I have sort of buried my head when it came to "industrial farming". I know in the back of my head how truly disgusting the practices are. But because I like protein, I have not completely acknowledged that disturbing fact. I just don't want to know. But in my quest for better health I have to look at the whole food process, I need to know the realities.

If the chickens are being fed all that junk and we eat their eggs and meat then it stands to reason we are also being fed all that junk. That just makes me sick. No wonder we have so many health issues in our country.

The old saying, "you are what you eat" really applies. If you want to ingest chemicals, eat today's conventional produce, meat and dairy. If not, buy organic. And if you won't do it for yourself, then do it for the chickens, they have no choice.

Adopting Creativity

A fellow writer just posed the idea to me that a creative person needs to adopt creativity as though it were a child. You need to nurture it, spend time with it, teach it, and grow it...I had never thought of it like that before, but it is profoundly accurate.

I get people all the time that say, “oh, you are so creative...I wish I could do that”. And I always think, “You can, you just have to try. Take a class, expand your mind...”. Lord knows I’m no Da Vinci, but creativity sort of comes second nature to me I guess. It’s like breathing or sleeping...it’s just something I need to do every day. It’s part of the essence that is my being. But it wasn’t always that way. It’s come and gone throughout my life. I wasn’t born with it.

I wasn’t born knowing how to paint, I can’t draw people or animals to save my soul and I for sure can’t sing. But I have a fire within that keeps me questing after more. I have the ability to visualize. I have a need for knowledge.

I’ve taken many, many writing classes and painting classes and courses on interior design and color analysis. I’ve trained on software programs for graphic arts and computer design and learned from other artists and mentors in my field. When people have asked me to design a piece of jewelry for them that they have seen in a magazine, I may not know how to readily do it, but I’m willing to learn. Of course there’s something there that I was born with--a flair, a knack, an instinct maybe. But I have spent a lot of time developing my creativity too.

And sometimes creativity comes to you at odd times. Last weekend a book idea came to me in my dreams, I dreamt the plot, the murder, the romance, the setting and personalities of my characters. When I woke at 5am I had to write it all down before I forgot it. Within a few hours I had 6 pages of premise together and a rough outline of the characters. I’ve never written a novel before, but what the hell, I’m willing to give it a shot. And I’ll go take some classes to learn a few tricks of the trade – maybe something comes of it, maybe it doesn’t; but the experience is still worth having.

I had an idea for a jewelry design hit me so hard one afternoon, I feverishly filled pages of notes and ideas. Sketches, materials, and the name, its marketability –all of it just hit me like a sack of potatoes. When that happens you just can’t ignore it, you have to run with it when you can. I figure that idea came to me so strongly for a reason, it’s up to me to figure out why.

I’ve written poems, laid out a landscape plan for my garden, and redesigned a room all in my head while driving to work. If it comes to you it’s a gift and must be acted upon. Just like a child that is crying or sick, creativity needs immediate attention. And that person was right, it must be nurtured with classes and mentors. It must be given room to grow. You must spend time with it, answer any questions it has or learn from its mistakes. It’s a comittment that must be honored and respected throughout its lifetime.

So yes, I guess you could say I adopted creativity, I am committed to it. And I will follow its journey.