My Heart Skips a Beat

I haven’t written about Love. I’m a big fan of true love. I believe love should be our driving force in life. Often times my husband asks me, “what’s life all about?” And I always reply, “Love”. When he says, “what am I going to do with you” I always say, “just love me honey...”

It’s truly how I feel.

I didn't have the best track record for relationships. I guess you could say I was a late bloomer. I didn’t have my first real boyfriend till I was almost 16. He was an older then me and didn’t go to my school. We only dated about 3 months, but we remained friends for 9 years after that. I think I loved him more as a friend then I ever did as a boyfriend.

I really didn’t steadily date any other guys until I was 20 or 21. Then I had my first long term relationship. A whole 6 months. After that, there was no one for like 5 years! OK, that's not exactly true. I dated some, lots of first dates, not a lot of second dates. I had a couple 9-1/2 week relationships in there, but truthfully I was a very lonely girl. My friends would say I was too picky. And in some respect that was true. I didn't want to waste my time. I wanted the whole package. I wanted some one I was attracted to yes, but also some one who made me laugh and who I could carry on a conversation with. Is that too much to ask? I used to pray late at night that God would bring me some one who loved me for my heart and soul.

I met my husband when I was 26. I was in a really great place in my life. I had a great job I loved, I had just bought a brand new townhouse on my own. I had a new car. I was thin and pretty. What a catch huh? I think I exuded a level of confidence at that time that perhaps I never had before. He was smitten with me right away. The feeling was very mutual.

The night we met we couldn’t take our eyes off each other. It was the absolute strongest attraction I had ever had to another human being. I leaned over and told my girlfriend right then and there, that the dark haired man across the bar was the man I was going to marry. She thought I was drunk, but I was dead serious.

He asked me to marry him on our first date. A week later I said yes. 16 years and 4 months later I’m still with that man. I love him more now then I did back then. So you can say that there is no such thing as soul mates, but I disagree. I know that there was some force beyond our control that night that drew us together with such strength. That force has kept us together this long. And I do believe that we were meant to be together. We just fit. Where I'm weak, he's strong. I'm logical when he is not. He calms me, I excite him. We make sense.

And even though the years have changed us our love is just as deep. I’m not the size 6 I was back then, his hair is much more gray, our bellies are not nearly as flat as they used to be. But this man still makes me laugh, we can be silly. We can still talk all night long. We still play together and explore together. And every time he looks deep into my eyes we connect, and my heart still skips a beat.

Family

Family is so important. Though there may be distance, or disagreements or just plain old differences of opinion, family is there. They are there to cheer for you, to console you, to back you up. I can never understand when I hear about people who don't speak to a sibling for years at a time. Or when they've had a falling out and don't want to make up, that drives me nuts.

I had an argument with my sister a few years ago. We didn't speak for like a year and a half. It made me crazy. I thought about our argument every day. We both are so damn stubborn that neither of us would make up, but I know that it bothered her as much as it did me. Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore. I called, apologized for my part in the argument and we made nice. We've always had differences of opinion, she and I. She's more of a black and white kind of person and I'm more of a shades of grey. We agree to disagree more often then not, but we still love each other and she has always been my biggest fan. But I guess that's what you have to do with family. You have accept each other's ways rather then try to push them to change or to agree with you.


There are things about family members we may not like. Maybe it's their political viewpoints, their lack of communication skills, their quick temper - whatever. But they are the hand you are dealt. And I'm sure if you think about your family they have far more good points then bad, for what they may lack in communication skills, they may more then make up for with understanding and patience.


I know there are some people in the world that will just rub you the wrong way, that get under your skin like a chigger and drive you nuts for a while. But on the other hand, there are those who are able to comfort you on your darkest days, be your champion for success and will always care that you are ok, and those people are family. So I say we have to cut each other some slack.

And know that deep down these people care for you no matter what. If push came to shove they would be there for you as best they could. So don't get too hung up on the specifics - "he said, she said...they did this, they never do that..." dig deeper, get to the heart of things - for the majority of us love our family's deep down, despite our faults, despite theirs, we were thrust together in this universe for a reason. It's up to us to figure out that reason and work with it.